| Before we went to bed Sunday night, my husband Billy | | | | between Bandy Canyon and Highland Valley were |
| and I looked at the latest fire information on local TV, | | | | two fire trucks sitting in the road, near one of the few |
| spoke our prayers, and felt safe. We always said | | | | places the trees were still untouched. |
| special prayers for our land, the other two families | | | | We rolled down our window, and smoke billowed in, |
| here, and for guidance, protection and direction in all | | | | "turn around," they said, "it's the only way out." "No, we |
| things. It is a daily part of our lives to actively listen for | | | | were just there," Billy said. The man got on his radio, |
| the Divine voice, and follow the leadings. What would | | | | and confirmed, "You're right. There is no way out. Just |
| leave its mark in history as "Firestorm 2007" had | | | | sit tight here for a minute." He came back with two |
| barely begun. And "the witch fire," one of the original | | | | bottles of water and cloth filter masks and said, "we |
| fires that would merge with many others, was miles | | | | can't do anything else here, we are going to try to get |
| and miles away near the town of Ramona, and there | | | | down the mountain. Put your car in between us." At |
| was no information given about evacuating Highland | | | | that moment, a small pickup truck with Hispanic |
| Valley Road where we lived. Within a few hours we | | | | workers in the back of it careened off the road beside |
| would be asked to trust our lives to that voice in the | | | | us and hit the back of the other fire truck. They were |
| midst of a firestorm of flame and cinders, surrounded | | | | told to drive between the fire trucks too. We were |
| with no open roads or discernible way out. | | | | going to leave in a few moments. We were going to |
| That Sunday the wind had been blowing fiercely, the | | | | be escorted down the mountain, with their full fire |
| Santa Ana winds were gusting down the mountain | | | | equipment and safety gear, including manual lights to |
| and through the avocado grove, piling at our front door | | | | check each crossing of the power lines. I knew this |
| a thick layer of leaves. I had opened the windows, the | | | | was the safe place God wanted us to be right now. |
| wind had always given me a feeling of exhilaration; | | | | My heart was thankful, but we were still sitting in the |
| and I was happy to see the leaves dance with the fall | | | | road in the midst of the fires. |
| season change. Our two cats were not as impressed, | | | | The Divine voice came again. "You must move. There |
| and Munchie and Angel hid under the couch until I got | | | | will be a flare up over the road in 5 minutes..." "Billy!" I |
| the message and closed the windows back down. My | | | | said, "We have to go now! Tell them we have to |
| husband noticed a light layer of dust on the counter, | | | | move NOW!" Soon the voice said, "4 minutes..." The |
| and there was a slight smell like a campground cooking | | | | fireman knocked on our car and we rolled our window |
| fire in the air. | | | | down. "We have to go now!" I shouted across my |
| Highland Valley road is on a ridge line above the San | | | | husband's lap, We only have a few minutes!" The |
| Pasqual Valley, near the San Diego Wild Animal Park. | | | | fireman seemed a bit taken back by my forcefulness, |
| The sunsets and views from here are wonderful, and | | | | but assured me they are getting in their trucks now. |
| though both roads down the mountain wind and turn | | | | On "2 minutes" we started moving, and slowly we |
| for miles, it seems to be the favorite route for | | | | caravanned down this alley of sorrow and hope. The |
| weekend visitors on their way to the quaint little town | | | | fire raged onto the trees behind us. We continued |
| of Julian and their famous apple pie. Situated as we | | | | safely through the orange smoke and flames until we |
| are on the outskirts of the three towns of Escondido, | | | | had passed the nursery on the backside of Rancho |
| Poway and Ramona, it seems that city officials don't | | | | Bernardo. We got onto the freeway. So many homes, |
| really know what area we live in, since on that fateful | | | | many new constructions, had surely burned. But many |
| night of the fire, none of us on Highland Valley got | | | | would also be saved. I knew this would be a time of |
| reverse 911 calls to evacuate. I guess they thought the | | | | miracles for many people, and many stories of |
| other area was taking care of it. But in the meanwhile, | | | | thanksgiving would occur this night. |
| some kind of gap in the system left an entire area | | | | We drove south since the North 15 was sealed off by |
| without warning. | | | | the local police and we kept going all the way to a |
| My husband was in bed and I was in the living room on | | | | hotel in San Diego, coughing, praising God for our lives |
| the computer. About 3 a.m. Monday morning, and I | | | | and making phone calls all along the way. Our |
| heard a distinct voice say, "we can't hold it back any | | | | wonderful landlords were safe, they had actually been |
| longer. You must leave." I looked up quizzically and the | | | | nowhere near the fire, but had been up visiting in Los |
| adrenalin shot through my body - the house was | | | | Angeles. Our caretaker had been with friends, and |
| surrounded by orange glowing smoke, and bright | | | | was not on the property. We called our families; none |
| flames were racing toward the house from all sides, all | | | | knew what had been happening. When we asked the |
| in a circle about 300 feet away. I yelled, "Billy! The fire | | | | hotel to book for a few days, we were told they could |
| is HERE!" He shot out of bed, looked out the window, | | | | only promise a couple of days, because they were |
| said, "Get dressed. You get the computers, I'll get the | | | | expecting a big convention in town. We told them |
| cats." We still had lights. I raced to the closet, praying | | | | things would be much different this week, and to |
| for guidance, praying to stay calm. I pulled on an old | | | | expect an overload from people leaving their homes. |
| Star Wars "Jedi - may the force be with you" t-shirt | | | | They looked at us like we were crazy. I guess we |
| and headed for the two laptops that have our | | | | were some of the first running from the fire. We |
| business and book information on them. As a healer | | | | collapsed on the bed, tried to get a grip on what just |
| and stigmata-bearer, I had experienced many unusual | | | | happened and then later bought some food and |
| things in my life, and the notes and information that | | | | clothes, since all we had was literally 2 computers and |
| came through those times of Divine connection was | | | | "the shirts on our backs." |
| not to be lost. I remembered to pull the power cords | | | | The next day we booked a flight to New York, to |
| out of the walls. I grabbed my purse. But I forgot my | | | | stay with relatives. We boarded the plane carrying our |
| wedding ring. "Get in the car! NOW!" Billy shouted to | | | | laptops in a canvas health-food bag and our clothes in |
| me, as he threw the couch to one side to try to get | | | | the Jedi t-shirt, with the sleeves tied into a knot to |
| the cats. As he continued to try to capture them to no | | | | make a bag. Though people looked at us strange at |
| avail, I yelled back to him, "we can't wait, come now!" | | | | first, when we had the chance to explain, there was |
| We both knew the choice we had to make, our hearts | | | | always tears in their eyes, as they seemed to also |
| were breaking - he grabbed his wallet, his cell phone, | | | | understand how indeed "the Force" was with us, and |
| our prayer book of The Divine Decrees and raced out | | | | how people are more important than things. I teased |
| the door, and jumped in the car. | | | | Billy, saying this is one way to get out of mowing the |
| He looked over at me and said, "which way do we | | | | lawn, and how he was always after me to pack lightly |
| go?" All around us was the flames. It was upon us | | | | for travel. |
| now. I listened. My heart was racing, but my mind was | | | | Two days went by, then three, and four. From my |
| calm. Go up the driveway, then head down Highland | | | | father-in-law's TV we watched everything we could, |
| Valley to the I15 freeway. We started up the driveway, | | | | and I went online to try to get information about our |
| flames everywhere, we were evidently in a pocket, | | | | house or Highland Valley Rd. My high emotions about |
| and it looked like the fires had been burning longer | | | | the status of the property were clogging up any |
| around us. Our homes are behind a large wooden | | | | information I could get from Divine sources. I felt |
| gate, which opens by electricity. In the few moments it | | | | everything was OK, as if a bubble surrounded our |
| took to go from our house to the gate, the electricity | | | | area. The news we heard wasn't good. Neighbors |
| had gone out, and it wouldn't open. The car in front of | | | | above us had evidently been warned by friends to |
| the caretaker's little trailer was gone, so we knew he | | | | leave, but their bodies were found charred in the |
| had probably left. There were flames behind his trailer | | | | debris. The neighbors across from us had survived by |
| taller than his trailer. We couldn't see our landlord's | | | | jumping in their pool with towels over their head and |
| house on top of the hill, and I prayed they were alright. I | | | | watched as their house burned; others had driven their |
| asked if we needed to go up there and get them. I got | | | | van into an empty field, and lived. Still, through it all, I held |
| the answer "no." They are an active but older couple, | | | | out hope for our little home, and especially our 2 kitties. |
| and I didn't know how they could get out as quickly as | | | | Yet even from Google-earth, it looked like our home |
| was needed. But I was not compelled to go up. I | | | | was gone, and no roof was apparent, just a white |
| trusted I was hearing what I needed to hear. | | | | area. Everyone, including my husband, said I should just |
| Billy pulled the gate open, and we headed down the | | | | let it go, that nothing could survive what we had driven |
| road. It was an eerie sight. The smoke was so thick; | | | | through. I tried to convince myself they were right, that |
| you couldn't see anything until you were upon it. We | | | | it was just me being hopeful, and living my healing |
| knew where the road was because the road was the | | | | business mantra "Be realistic...expect a miracle!" So on |
| only one place the fire wasn't. It was a black strip | | | | the fourth day, I gave up the thought. A dear friend |
| through the orange flames. Every house I could see | | | | found us another place and was taking the steps to |
| was a bonfire. Anyplace there was fuel, the fire was | | | | secure the rental for us, even volunteering to furnish it |
| taking it as its own. I asked the Holy Angels to try to | | | | for us. Times like these truly show what is deep in the |
| save our cats, and even our home if possible. I got the | | | | heart of each person, and will bring it to the forefront. |
| answer. "We will try our best." We are newlyweds, | | | | Even as I see some looting homes, others are opening |
| and all of our wedding pictures, my original songs from | | | | theirs up to strangers. |
| when I was in the music business, all of my paintings | | | | I had seen unHoly Angels in the forefront of the |
| would be gone. The statue of Mary that wept | | | | flames, I knew they delight in destruction. This fire was |
| whenever Holy stigmata would happen, and the two | | | | not "an act of God," The Big Guy is all about love, not |
| Angel statues above the bed that did the same, all | | | | punishment, he doesn't bring the bad stuff, but he |
| would be burned. How could they not be? | | | | desires to save us out of it. A few days before the |
| I would be happy to get out with our lives. I asked God | | | | fire, we were given an illustration about how we are all |
| simply for that, and prayed safety for all those around | | | | asked to be the mystic, to hear him for ourselves. He |
| us. All material things can be replaced. I took comfort in | | | | said, "As the arrow leaves the bow for your |
| knowing that every song had been played, and every | | | | destruction, you will be told to move right, or to move |
| moment was recorded in our hearts, and none of that | | | | left, and you must do so without hesitation and without |
| could ever be lost, the energy of it continues forever in | | | | question." We had no idea this would be literal for us in |
| our mind and in the mind of God. In the midst of the | | | | just a few days. During a fire, everything changes in a |
| fire, I smiled. All these thoughts racing through as fast | | | | second. We had to be open to change too, and go |
| as wildfire (I know what that means now). My husband | | | | with it. |
| said; "I can't see the road. Hold on." I said I left my | | | | The call came later on the fourth day, from our |
| wedding ring." "It's OK, he said, so did I." "We'll be OK," | | | | landlords. "We are calling you from inside your house, it |
| he said. We passed by Bandy Canyon road, and we | | | | is here, everything is intact, and I put food and water |
| were again told by The Big Guy to keep going straight, | | | | out for your cats. Our house is still here too and is fine, |
| down Highland Valley Road to the freeway. I | | | | and even the caretaker's trailer. Everything around us |
| wondered if we would be out of it after we got down | | | | is gone. Part of the grove is damaged. It is a miracle." I |
| the mountain. | | | | cried with amazement, when the Angels say they will |
| Instead, it was just as bad if not worse there, and | | | | try their best, there is a lot to that! |
| each home was another bonfire through the smoke. | | | | The fire burned a circle around our land; most |
| The heat inside the car from the flames was so bad I | | | | everything around us is devastated. Friends say our |
| prayed our gas tank wouldn't catch on fire. A white alb | | | | home doesn't even smell like smoke on the inside. I |
| (my husband is a Priest) was hanging in the back seat. | | | | can't wait to return, we are still in New York, and the |
| I grabbed it and emptied a bottle of Holy Water on it | | | | water and power will be back on in another week or |
| and we put it over our mouths to breathe through. | | | | so. We have many friends who have offered to help |
| Now we had the swampy flatland on one side of the | | | | us with our needs, which are basically just giving our |
| road, and a water treatment plant on the other. There | | | | pets love until we return. |
| was little room for error, and not being able to see | | | | It is unreasonable that our place exists, just as it was |
| through the thick, white smoke everywhere, we ran | | | | unreasonable to turn around and drive back into the |
| off the road at the intersection. Easily we moved the | | | | fire. I have learned much from this experience. I have |
| car back onto the road and continued navigating our | | | | learned that seeing with the literal eyes can sometimes |
| way, gunning the car at times to make it through areas | | | | distract from seeing the real truth through the eyes of |
| where the trees where on fire and hanging over the | | | | faith. I have learned that Divine direction is always |
| road. We came upon a car on the road, completely | | | | there and that we can hear it even in times of ultimate |
| engulfed in flames, the Angels said no one was burning | | | | stress. And I have learned that contrary to stereotype, |
| in the car. We got over as far as we could, and | | | | there are men who will ask for directions - and listen to |
| gunned it again. We were driving through the fire with | | | | their wives even when they are told to drive back into |
| one ear to the heavens, and one ear to the earth. We | | | | the fire! Through this experience, I have run the gamut |
| were almost to the freeway now, only about a quarter | | | | of emotions: joy, sadness, melancholy, loss and elation. |
| mile. The smoke was less here, and we only had to | | | | For me, it is similar to the stigmata, almost a |
| pass by a plant nursery and we would be free. | | | | resurrection while still in the body, a rebuilding from the |
| We briefly saw a horse trailer ahead of us, and then | | | | inside out. There are many digging out from the ashes. |
| they disappeared into the smoke. We came upon | | | | People will either choose to praise God for their life |
| people along the road, who had gotten out of their | | | | and the lives of their loved ones, or blame him for the |
| cars. "Is it safe to go the other way?" a man asked. | | | | losses that have occurred. |
| "We can't get through this way, the flames are over | | | | As I see it, there are only two choices, love or fear. |
| the road. We can't get out." The nursery was on fire. I | | | | Love moves us forward, to rebuild, to have hope, to |
| saw a vision in my mind's eye, how it was OK to drive | | | | regrow. Fear stagnates and freezes us, and keeps us |
| through on the road, but that it must be quick, and I | | | | from being the true potential we were created to be, |
| saw that people would panic as the flames blew | | | | and having the beautiful lives we were meant to have. |
| through from one side to another over them, and I saw | | | | We all have defining moments in our lives, and the San |
| vehicles losing control and blocking the way, and then | | | | Diego fires have been defining moments for many |
| people could be hurt. It was like a TV screen before | | | | people: for the heroic firefighters who guided so many |
| my eyes. What to do? | | | | to safety, for the police who helped keep people calm |
| "Turn around, go back into the fire" I heard. What? I | | | | and directed their exits, for all those who listened to |
| said it out loud, "Billy, turn around and go back into the | | | | that voice inside telling them, "go this way or go that |
| fire." My husband turned and looked at me. "What? | | | | way." May we be thankful for our lives, and see |
| Let's just be sure you are hearing right. You are under | | | | everything else as just an additional perk along the |
| a lot of stress. Go back into the fire? Are you sure?" | | | | way. Everything will be OK. Even now, can't you hear |
| "Yes!" I said, turn around now, go back up the hill and | | | | that voice inside you telling you that? Believe me, you |
| into the fire!" So we did. We hurried back into the thick | | | | can trust that Voice with your life, we did. |
| smoke and flames as quickly as we had left them. | | | | ***Closing Update - we are back and everything is so |
| "Are you sure?" Billy asked once more. "Yes! I'm sure!" | | | | surreal, people sifting through the ashes of their homes |
| I answered as we passed a power pole ablaze, the | | | | while others are merely cleaning their windows. There |
| lines ready to drop. I knew that I was putting both our | | | | is melancholy in the air, and much melancholy and |
| lives into the hands of Him who knew the way out, but | | | | mixture of the full spectrum of emotions. It is like |
| was I confident enough in my ability to hear, for the | | | | southern California has been through a war, and are |
| calmness I prayed for was lasting even "under fire." | | | | experiencing post-traumatic stress syndrome. Update |
| I had seen healing miracles happen under my hands | | | | on our home - it is in perfect shape, as are our kitties! |
| thousands of times, I had seen the new medical | | | | There is burn everywhere else, and definite lines |
| reports, pet scans and blood work of others who God | | | | clearly seen around the perimeter of our home. Even |
| had brought through life-changing times. Now my life | | | | though (didn't we keep the Angels busy!) we left 2 |
| and that of my beloved husband relied on only a few | | | | one-gallon containers of gasoline for the lawn mower |
| words. No one else was coming down the road. It was | | | | on the front porch, right against our home. And we |
| nearly impassable. Our eyes were tearing from the | | | | have water, and even the power is back on. So now I |
| smoke. I thought in my analytical mind, "maybe it is so | | | | am back at work continuing to fulfill the commission |
| we can go down the other way, down Bandy | | | | The Big Guy gave me, "Heal my children, help them |
| Canyon." Maybe that is why we were told to go back | | | | remember who they are," with hardly a bump. God is |
| up. But that wasn't the case. Exactly at the intersection | | | | good! |